It was World Mental Health Day yesterday. I’m open about my mental health history. I’ve survived a nasty bout of depression and occasional panic attacks. I’ve had a few therapists and thanks to a supportive family and taking better care, I’m “out of the woods” these days. For the last few years. One day at a time. Still, none of this was much fun.
Talking about recovering from these issues is tricky. Even admitting you’ve had depression causes some people to get squicky. Which is weird. Because yes, there’s a genetic predisposition towards it. But I tend to think we’re all capable of getting depressed. If we don’t take the right steps to take care of ourselves and avoid burnout, it’s a bit like tooth decay. Neglect your teeth? You get cavities. We don’t judge people for needing fillings. (*Even in America, the land of the perfect grin.) Yet the irony is society tends to think of people with depression as in some way weak. Trust me, people with depression are tougher than most of us. To keep going despite some of the nasty beliefs it engenders, you’ve got to be a bit of a hard case.
A deeper question fewer of us ask is: Why drive yourself into the ground to feel self-worth? What’s wrong with taking a nice nap and enjoying some gelato and a James Bond film? Or hanging out with your friends at the bodega more often?
Because I talk about these issues, I do find people tend to come to me when they’re struggling. And I’ve learned to send them in one clear direction. Think you might have some depression? Anxiety? Follow me…
The National Health Service has an online “anxiety and depression” test where you can get a score. It doesn’t help everyone with everything, and I’m not advocating that it does. But if you’re wondering whether it’s all in your head or if you might try talking to someone, this is a great first step. The test is free, it’s based in England, but you can take it, anywhere. Nobody records the results.
I’ve sent dozens of people there over the last decade and am confident it’s helped. Things do get better when you start looking. Not immediately and not always in the way you might think. But you can beat these challenges and emerge happier.
A sad thing happened. Last weekend an acquaintance of mine from New Orleans killed himself and it made the news. He was one of life’s givers, a civil rights lawyer. He helped many, many people get justice in a state known for skirting it. His widow told the papers he’d been battling major depressive disorder. I’m so sorry for her loss. I also know the people in your life doing the most for other people tend to be the ones that might need help themselves. They also struggle the most to ask for it.
When a person is struggling, something I’ve learned is that knowing their “score”, per the test, can be the best first step. Do they need to take a break? Talk to somebody? Address any underlying issues? At the very least, knowing their depression score can help a person diagnose a condition and keep an eye on it while they figure out what’s next.
You wouldn’t ignore an infected wisdom tooth. Don’t ignore a persistent feeling of worthlessness. Don’t ignore the inability to take pleasure in things. Don’t ignore the impact of those problematic behaviors you might be using to escape. You deserve to be happy far more often and I wish you the very best in life. Please forward this on to anyone you think might like to hear it. Nobody needs to suffer in misery.
