The author and his son Fred enjoying the Ice Rink vibes in the shadow of the Empire State Building recently.
I rewrote this post from scratch. At first, I spent 700 words discussing a zeitgeist-y management essay, doing the rounds, about “how to build a culture of joy” in cause-driven spaces. The too-long, didn’t read version of the essay is that it took an awfully long time to get to the point. And then it didn’t propose too many solutions. It was dry and academic, and so earnest it made my eyes water.
I am not about that life. Especially not in the run up to Christmas.
In fact I realized that by giving the essay more attention I was part of the problem. I’m outspoken about the importance of enjoying working life. We spend so much of our lives working that actually, enjoying work means enjoying life. When you work on important causes, they’re often deadly serious. The reasons for the problems we seek to solve are deep-rooted and systemic. But the truth is, we can’t be deadly serious, all the time, about how we work towards justice. That would be an unforgivable failure.
Nonprofits and foundations often suffer with this challenge. We focus so hard on how we’re doing what we do that we lose sight of our goals. It’s ironic, but we end up caring too much about injustice to be productive. And that can make us a bit of a misery to be around. We begin to marinate in the challenges we’re supposed to be solving. Before long we accumulate some of their flavor, their jargon, their corrosive malaise. I call it the “toilets problem.” Next time you’re at a nonprofit, go look at the toilets. If they’re in terrible condition, cold, and unwelcoming, in my experience, it can be a barometer.
As I said, I am not about that life. I reject it. As far as I’m concerned, joy is non-negotiable. I want my toilets to be splendid. To quote my grandmother, who turned 100 last month, “the facilities matter, Matthew.”
And it’s about so much more than the loos. I’m amazed at how often people I work with will tell me, “It’s so refreshing to enjoy working on something.” Or thereabouts. I take it as a compliment.
And yet sometimes, a consultant’s clients want them to seem miserable. A friend of mine tells a good story to illustrate this point. He was working from his cabin in the countryside, overlooking the ocean. He was on a conference call when a whale jumped out of the water, and he gasped. The clients were stuck in a meeting room straight out of The Office and asked him what had happened.
“I saw a whale jump out of the ocean!” he yelled.
And something shifted. The client never quite clicked with him after that, and he realized he’d made a big mistake. From then on, he pretended to be a bit more miserable when he met with them. But it was too late.
I make no apologies for saying that I hate working with such people. If you’re miserable, that’s your problem. I’m not going to pretend I like it. And I’m sorry you brought it to my door. I sometimes ask myself: “What was it about me that made you think I would enjoy that?”
It’s also why I enjoy trying out client relationships with project work. If we’re a good fit, the process will be joyful, and the results will come. If not, that’s fine. There are so many joyful people and joyful organizations in the world that I’d prefer to focus on them. Genuinely: No hard feelings.
The funny thing is, it’s taken me three years running a consulting business to realize this. When you’re running a business with a baby to feed, it can be tempting to numb yourself to client red flags of misery. But every single time I have taken on a client where such red flags were evident, they’ve proved decisive. Meanwhile, the joyful fireworks of creativity and potential are a little rarer. But when I’ve seen them, they do almost always bode well. And I am so blessed and lucky to have clients I do enjoy working with. Really. I am deeply proud of having built a business based on this fundamental belief.
So. Here’s to spreading a culture of joy by sticking to that mantra. If you’re a joy to work with, give me a call. Let’s talk about our favorite books to read, or something. Then we can talk about your strategic communications challenge?
And Merry Christmas! Happy holidays! You deserve all the gifts and more! Feel free to share this message with your friends and family. It would be such a compliment to me if you felt like doing so.
