I’ve been listening to Kenny Rogers’ song, “The Gambler” a lot, this week. It’s a nice bit of country music about the importance of knowing how to play the hand you’re dealt. You may know it, but if you don’t, allow me to improve your life with the chorus:
You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table,
There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealing’s done.
It’s a fantastic strategic communications anthem about how to manage pressure and conflict. First, it makes clear that there are always options. You can choose to take on an issue. You can choose to back away from it. You can also choose to run for the hills! But these are options within your control. The important thing is having the wisdom to know the difference. It’s also very important to avoid being too cocky about the hand you’re holding. Any minute, things can take a nasty turn.
I meet a lot of leaders who think they have no choice but to take on issues without prioritizing them or planning. They tend to think that they’re risk averse. Likewise, they tend to want to do too much without focusing on what’s most important and that’s its own kind of risk. But there’s a bigger risk and I’ve seen it playing out in a few different places lately…probably because Donald Trump won the election and has turned America into a dystopia for many of us.
When you’re playing poker, the riskiest time is when you’ve suffered a “bad beat.” It’s not the loss itself but the following hand. You’re angry about the loss, you want to fight back. Then you go all-in on a pair of twos and lose the whole pot. That’s called playing “on tilt.” Your emotions get the better of you, and you play instinctively. The difference between a good poker player and a bad one is avoiding playing “on tilt.” I hate to bring up my other favorite game, squash, here, but it’s so true there too. The worst players get too emotional under pressure. They might even win then but they don’t learn from the experience. It’s so important to maintain a sense of cool detachment. That’s true in squash and poker but it’s so, so true when you’re running or working in an organization.
Culture matters. A client of mine has been dealing with some internal challenges recently. Without going into identifiable details, I’ll say this: People are playing on tilt. At a moment like this it’s very important for everyone to take a breath. The culture of the organization needs to support that, and staff need to see calm restored. The leadership needs to play its cards in a decisive way, or there’s risk of making things worse. Everyone in and around the organization needs to do their best to avoid playing on tilt and model the right adult behavior. I believe it’s possible to see cooler heads prevail but it’s important to be intentional about such things. That starts with each of us, individually, being more aware of when we’re playing and communicating “on tilt.”
So, sing it, Kenny!
