I’ve had a great time over the last six months writing a daily newsletter where I read the newspaper. But I’ve stopped doing it this morning because I couldn’t convert free subscribers to pay. I am grateful to those who did convert, but in the end, I realized I was wasting my time on it. That’s not to say I didn’t have a lot of fun. I want to make room for other ways to spend my time that are more fruitful. That’s all.
What have I learned from the failure of the project? Quite a lot. The main thing is that when I start “something,” it’s important to be clear about why if I want it to sustain. In this case, Donald Trump had taken office and I wanted a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Reading the paper and writing about it for my friends and others was an inspiring idea. I value the first amendment and the press. I also wanted to be in dialog with others who felt the same. It was important for me to affirm those things. Doing the newsletter deepened my commitment to media, news reporting, and democracy. I’m an optimist, in general, and I like to put my energy to use. I enjoyed learning how to do daily LinkedIn Live broadcasts and got better at having a TV presence. I learned more about newsletter platforms. I also learned that it helps to have the support of a formal media organization.
For those reasons, I don’t regret having tried the project. I’m also less ashamed than I used to be about a writing or “comms” project not working out. What does success and failure mean in the context of writing? In my experience they’re very difficult things to quantify. At the end of the day you’re putting a mark on a piece of paper or a screen. People read it, they process it, and they might act in a different way or not. People’s responses to what you write might be a success if they became more thoughtful. I do value people’s responses to the marks I make when they’re prepared to part with some money, though. I guess I’m not quite as noble as I thought when I started, on that front.
Now it’s July and my business has picked up. People have started making decisions again. The paralysis I felt in January has eased, somewhat, and I’m able to focus my attention on deeper work. I’m working on a novel about the kind men who shape a young man’s outlook on life and his ability to become a good father. I’ve read a couple of depressing opinion pieces in the New York Times about the death of young men’s fiction. I disagree with them, and I can write a good young man’s book. So, I’m going to try. I don’t mind if it doesn’t work out, either. I realized the importance of male mutual kindness is an issue I’m prepared to explore for a while. It’s shaped my life in positive ways, after all. Thanks to all the men who were kind to me over the years. They’re the ones who prevented me turning into a fascist, and that’s important.
I don’t mean to say I’m not grateful for the kindness of women either. But there’s something about male anger that has twisted our society. I’ve been very lucky to have seen a different path and I know how important that is. So: Let’s try another project, then, eh? I’d say “what’s the worst that can happen?” But we already know what the worst that can happen is, because it’s happening all around us on a daily basis. It’s important, in that context, to abandon good ideas for better ones, for the best ones, or we’ll all suffer worse.
I really do appreciate you reading what I have to say.
